12th Jan 2012

Friends...

I don't have many of them.

But those that I regard as friends, I treasure them.

Treat them like my family.

Don't really have to stick together or meet up every single day.

But know that I'll always be there when they need me.

Kenneth, Lixing, Niki, Afiq, Reeza, Jin Hor.

They are people who I cherish lots.

As for the others, feels more like acquaintance.

Like Jeth, David, Aldrian.

I don't know...

Feels more like we are colleagues rather than friends.

Love filming, make short films together and all that.

But, everything just stop there.

Complicated feelings.

If there's no EMWC, there is a high chance that we won't have any contact at all.

Perhaps, i'm just being too careful.

Sigh...

But, I'm still thankful that I get to know them.

Awesome group of people.

You know...

I'm starting to have doubts about the future that I've planned for myself.

Film production...is it really gonna be what I want?

I love film making. 

No doubt about that.

But, I'm doubting whether my love and passion is enough to drive me through another 10 years.

Especially now that my life is in a mess, am I really gonna spend my time in this?

In Singapore?
It's like I used to think that I'm like superwoman (Kenneth gave me that nickname -.-).
Coz I can edit stuff super fast.
I can survive with little sleep.
And other stuff.
But, the truth is that no matter what I do or how much I do, I'm just an ordinary girl.

My Plan B.

Changing the direction of my life.

but, where am I going to find that 20 seconds of insane courage to do so?

Sigh...

真的很烦。。。

But there are things that I've already decide.

There are a few things that I'll drop.

First, no more science subject for me.

Second, gonna stop learning German.

Third, gonna stop sulking.

Fourth, gonna stop trying to please everyone.

Yup...that's the four things that I'm gonna stop doing.

Some of it is becoz I simply don't like it and some is becoz there's no point continue doing it.

At the same time, there's a few things that i've added into the Lansin's dictionary.

First, remember to SMILE!

Second, Love only exists in fairytales.

Third, be less emotional.

After dropping and adding some stuff, hopefully my life will turn out to be better.

Meanwhile, I should keep thinking about my Plan A and Plan B.

And also, continue to search for my 20 seconds of insane courage.