4th 24th

All this shit happens...

I just have to accept it even though I know I don't deserve it.

But life goes on....

All I am capable of doing now is just cry quietly in one corner.

That and nothing else...

Totally feel that i've cheapen myself. 

Hate it!

Again and again

Isn't it weird? 

The guys that I date are sort of the same kind.

Perhaps I'm really being too good.

Too good that they are taking advantage of me.

I'm just 19.

Yes I can play around.

But I don't think I'll like it.

Maybe niki is right.

Older guys may suit me more.

This current relationship... Should I still hold on?

Is it still worth holding on?

Good thing is that ever since Randy, I never really take whatever things he say seriously.

And lucky me have a very strong instinct. 

Though it may not be able to stop things from happening, at least it helped me be happened.

However, the feeling isn't good at all.

Is it really the end? 

泪

一个人独自坐在五房式的客厅里。

周围黑漆漆的。

因为就只有我自己一个人，开灯又有什么用。

身体觉得好不舒服。 又不知道这次是不是又要生病了。

明明我就是一个由父母有哥哥有男朋友的。

为什么偏偏子这个时候，我不舒服，心里难受，却不知要跟谁说。

父母不在新加坡。

就算跟他们说，他们也就有只会说我不会照顾好自己。

可是，他们也不想想，有谁会喜欢自己经常生病的。

明明就有哥哥，可是却是一个没有用的哥哥。

记得前些日子，爸妈都不在新加坡，我有两次发高烧，自己在床上难受得不得了。

自己去看医生，自己为自己敷冰，自己为自己打理食物。

如果我没有哥哥，我想我因该不会那么心寒了。

明明自己就是有哥哥的，但却要过这想没有哥哥的日子，

这种感觉比没有哥哥还来得心寒绝望。

我好当心万一有一天我真的发烧病死在家，到底还会不会有人发现。

虽然我早已面对我有这样一个哥哥的事实。

但是我很好奇， 每当他穿上我帮他洗，晒 的衣服时，他到底有什么感受？

还是他一点感受也没有。。。

算了。。。

我看我还是继续努力的骗自己是一个没有哥哥的人。

或许我会跟好受点。

男朋友。。。

我不知道因该说什么好。

希望他这时候开心就好。

希望他不要喝太多酒抽太多烟。

照顾好自己。

我不舒服，好想他。

但还没来得及跟他说我不舒服，他就叫我不要吵他。

我还能说什么呢？

他是爱我的。

只是在不对的时间，说了不对的话，让我在这种时候觉得更心寒罢了。

我只想照着我自己想过的生活好好的过着。

为什么这么难呢？

家。。。不是天天呆在那里，那里就是家。

我想要几点出门就出门，几点回家就回家。

想做什么就做什么。

只要不杀人，发火，做坏事就好了。

就这样简单。

为什么就那么难得到呢？

我想快乐。

真的。。。

就那么简单。。。

POP lo!!!!

YAY!!!!

On the 4th Dec 2012, my dearest Xiong finally POP lo!!!!!

Super happy for him.

And me too!

Time files by real fast.

In a blink of eyes, 3 months and 28 days passed.

Though xiong and I only get together for like 3 months plus, it certainly feel that we are really close to each other. 

After being with him, it is the first time I feel that I'm truly being loved, first time that I feel whatever I feel and do is no longer one-sided, first time I can tell others proudly that I am his girl and he is my guy...

So many first time...

Yes, I complain to other about how childish and sometimes selfish he can be. 

But, his good points are definitely more than his bad ones.

Or maybe I should say...so bad points that other people think is seen as good points to me.hahaha

Slowly, he is gaining my trust and love.

I love him for who he is.

Sweet, loving, caring, a bit hot-tempered, a bit childish, or maybe I should just say a bit of everything.

hehehe.

At least till now, he is the guy that no matter how long I see him or spend time with him, I will never get tired of him. :)

If there is a best boyfriend award, I will definitely give it to him.

Every night, flashback of those moments, both sweet and bitter, appear in my mind.

Before I sleep, I'm so thankful to have him with me.

Though we might not be able to see each other that often, we know that we have a place in each other's heart.

A place that is important, irreplaceable and filled with love, care and concern.

3 months plus and still counting...

 I love you!!!!

hihi

Hi hi.

I’m back. Have been so long since I last blogged. Don’t really know where I should start… Work is still alright. No stress and everyone is nice to me. Luckily I’m independent enough. If not, I guess it would be real hard for me to do this job since I’m usually the only one in the office. Needless to say, this job is considered very great. It pays a market price based on my past experience and education level. But, I feel that with the time that I have, I should be able to do more and earn more. Shall figure a way out.

Xiong and I are together for 3 months and counting… He is going to POP soon. Can’t believe we have been together for more than 3 months. Feels so unreal. Yea..we do quarrel and get really pissed off with each other at times but we won’t stay angry with each other for long. Coz we love each other. Hehehe.. Though his ex still come and disturbs me and gets me very irritated and annoyed, I still decided to just believe in XIong. Lets hope that I didn’t trust the wrong person again. Can’t wait for his POP tmr. I truly hope he can eventually quit smoking. But still….this kind of thing is up to him to decide. Oh, he is going for Zonk Out this coming Friday. Still thinking if I should go too. I want to go crazy for awhile so badly.

 Yes, work and love seem to be very good for me now. But, to me, it just feels like the peace before the storm. Especially in work. I want to know more people. I want to mingle around. I want to get more exposure. So much so much things that I want. But…there is something that I’m very sure and clear of and that is if I want something, I must give something first. All this is what I want. But before I can get them, what is it that I should give first. That’s the question that I must find an answer to. Once I get the answer, the rest would be easy.

Jiayou jiayou!

想要得到什么，就要先付出点什么。

3 Nov 2012

Hihi! First time blogging from my iPhone. I'm like lying down on the bed, feeling so awful coz of that stupid fever. This fever is really so irritating. My temperature is going up and down. Seriously wonder when will I fully recover. I can't be always getting mc. :/ hate myself for also being so weak. 

Sigh... That kind of love hate feeling I have for Xiong is really....making me so lost. I hate him for always scolding me for nothing and hate him for his bad hot temper. Yet, I love him for  constantly caring about me. I guess I need care and affection constantly. I wonder if it's a good thing of him to sign on or not. I wonder if this kind of life is gonna be the kind that I want. Is this all worth my time and effort? Or am I simply thinking too much right now??? Maybe I'm really thinking too much. Shall just sleep for awhile. In hope that I'll get better soon. 

P.s Xiong is playing his computer game again. Sigh....shall not disturb him. I don't wanna kenna scolding anymore le. 

Tired...

Tired...

I'm really tired..

Tired of trying so hard to just live my life well.

Tired of trying but no one seems to care.

Tired of putting in so much effort but nothing comes out.

Sick and tired of everything...

Shouldn't parent be the pillar of support?

Sigh...

No one seem to understand that for the past aimless one year, I've been trying hard to find a goal to work hard for.

I go out and earn money just to provide myself so I won't have to rely much on my parent.

Going through that god damn sickness alone.

Pain in silence.

I gambled 2 years of my life going into a JC, believing that I will make it to Uni.

It's either a do or die.

I gambled 7 to 8 years of my life, believing that film production is my aim, my goal, my dream.

I lost that dream and woke up from it.

Reminding me that this society isn't as nice as what I thought it is.

I can't always get what I want.

There are still lots of other things needed beside being hardworking.

Sometimes, giving the best is never enough.

Sometimes, I just wish that I can just sleep and never ever wake up again

I'm tired.

I really am...

Exciting month!

Updates! Updates! Updates!

Finally coming to the end of the September!

It has really been a super duper busy and exciting week for me.

Okay... so what have I been doing for the past one month?

Hmmm...mainly 3 happenings.

First is Xiong's birthday celebration.

Second is the Mooncake Festival Roadshow at Conrad.

Third is the working experience at Amber Lounge.

The word 'Crazy' is definitely suitable to describe my whole entire month.

Let's start from Xiong's birthday celebration.

I can't celebrate with him on his actual birthday coz he's in camp on that day itself.

Sort of sad.

But still, I planned a birthday surprise at Sentosa on Friday when he booked out.

The beautiful sunset at Sentosa Siloso Beach.

View from Sentosa Siloso Beach Resort. 

As the night fall, I brought Xiong to the beach and gave him the surprise.

I'm so glad that I'm currently earning money now.

Becoz of that, I am able to afford all this surprises.

hehehe..

Mango Strawberry Fruit Tart from Fruit Paradise.

 Xiong making his birthday wishes.

Hopefully all his wishes will come true. :D

 Played with candles and sparkling light stick.

 It was definitely an unforgettable day for the both of us.

Hope Xiong truly loved the surprise and all the present I gave him.

And hopefully I'll be able yo celebrate his birthday with him for the following years.

:)

Ok...next up is the Mooncake Festival Roadshow.

I've been working at Conrad Centennial Hotel, helping out with their mooncake roadshow as it is around the corner.I helped out in almost everything and anything.

From organisation to stock taking to delivery to roadshow execution to receiving goods and order and a lot more.

Working up to an average of 10 hours per day.

Yes, it is really super tiring and I lose like a total of 5 kg.

But I've learnt a lot.

How to organise, always plan before you do, the way to talk and work with different kind of people.

It is really a very good experience.

Luckily I had experience in retail sale.

So selling mooncake isn't any difficult task for me.

It is the preparation for roadshow and delivery that is really tiring.

Tmr is the last day working at Conrad.

Can't bear to leave but I know that it's time for me to move on no matter how much I don't wish to.

I'll never forget some of the most awesome people there.

Like Kenneth, Jason, Elodie and Tay Kiat.

Gonna miss you guys lots.

Here comes the most exciting part of my post.

I went to worked at Amber Lounge under the name of Conrad for the post F1 party.

Worked for 2 nights and I swear this 2 nights are insane and totally too much fun.

haha.

It is a very beautiful place with the theme colour of black and red.

It's something like a club but it's a super atas club. Just by entering the place itself, you'll have to pay like 1000 buck.

On the Saturday night, I am assigned to take care of the table that Maroon 5 booked.

Maroon 5!!!!!

No kidding.

hahaha.

I can't believe I'm so lucky.

hehehe.

Then on the Sunday night, I toole care of the most expensive table in the whole lounge.

Kinda proud of myself that I am able to handle such important guests and matters.

The 2 nights is really a very good experience.

--------------------

Xiong and I have been  together for one month le.

It's really very sweet of him to send me flowers though he is in camp.

Sigh...I hope he will be my last one.

Coz sometimes....I really feel that no one else can love and dotes me as much as he does.

Miss him lots right now.

But...still...I forsee lots of problem that will occur.

Whether we can overcome it, it's still a question mark.

Hope he's fine in camp and having a very good sleep and sweet dream right now.

Love him. 

Muack!

Hihi!

This blog have been rotting here coz I've been super busy with work.

as always.

hahaha

okok, shall update some happy things instead of constantly blogging about sad stuff.

Hmm, where should I start?

ok, start with the Novotel Dinner and Dance then.

My first ever DnD is given to Novotel.

Proudly introduce to you.....

THE NOVOTEL MAN IN BANQUET!!!! 

(i.e MIB) :P

The theme for that night is hollywood/bollywood.

But, I don't really care about it.

I'm just there to get a feel of it.

I went with Geraldine and Ziyu.

Three of us wore super high heels and we are like 180cm.

heheeehe.

I shall let the photos do the talking then.

Sufian! Knew him since I start working there. 

Performance! 

 Alex! The youngest and newest banquet manager in novotel.

Performance from the banquet team 

The whole bunch of banquet managers.

I swear they can hole alcohol really well. 

Our new Banquet manager. Zul.

Eugene. He's in charge of the overall staff. A guy with hardly any temper.

ok.. That's pretty much sum up the Dinner and Dance.

Fun and interesting.

After the Dinner and Dance, Xiong came over to Novotel and fetch me.

Drove me to Henderson Wave and had a chat there.

That night, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend.

After those heartbreak in the past, I really didn't know what I should do and if I should accept him.

Hmmm...but what can I say...

He dotes me so much.

None of my ex had ever made me feel so loved and protected.

Even though I felt uncertain, I'm still willing to take the risk.

Coz I think he's worth it.

Yeap.

So...on the 24th August 2012, Xiong and I are officially together. 

Too bad he's in army right now...but...I hope we'll stay together throughout.

Even though he might be a little vulgar and can be real hot tempered at times, he still treats me really well.

It feels like both parties are putting in effort to maintain the relationship.

It is too early to say that whether he will be the right one.

But, he's the one that can make me happy, loved and protected.

Instead of thinking too far, we decided to just enjoy every single moment together and create more and more wonderful memories together.

Happy moments...

Why are we so cute???

Hahahaha

His birthday is coming and I've been running around getting his presents and thinking of how to surprise my birthday boy.

Can't wait for him to book out this friday.

:D

11th August 2012

I swear it has been freaking long since I last blogged.

It's gonna rot soon if I don't update.

Hi my loves one!

Hope everyone is doing fine and happy!

I've been  working and working and working.

Yea..that's pretty much what I've been doing. Nothing special.

Miss Lixing and Niki lots.

I guess no matter what happened at work or what so ever, at the end of the day, it always feels relieved that I know they will be there for me even if we can't meet as often as we want.

To me, they are like part of my life. 

Beside my family, they are the one that I love most.

Ah....was talking to Mummy (she's finally back!) about them while having dinner. 

I was telling her that even though now Me, Niki and Lixing, the 3 of us are like going different ways, leading a different life, the friendship bond between us didn't change much at all.

I still love it whenever we gather together and chat about work, life and all that.

Looking back at how we used to chiong studies together, all the fights and quarrels we had and also all the sweet sweet memories we had, I just realised how much we changed and grow together.

Sometimes, I'll even think that in the future, even when all 3 of us get married, we'll still go out together, have fun and all that.

This is a friendship that will last.

Becoz we genuinely love and care for each other.

To the both of them:

My dearest daughters, no matter what, you know that I'll always love you. Once your 鬼妈，forever will be your 鬼妈！No matter how busy I am, whenever you need me, just give me a text or a call, I'll be there. Things might not go as well as what we expect it to be. But, I believe that we will get through it. Don't know why, but today, I suddenly feel that you guys are the best. hahaha. So mushy. :P Can't wait to meet you guys soon. Miss you girls lots!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok...I know I'm being very mushy...but...once in awhile nevermind.

ahahahahha.

Oh, mummy is finally back.

Finally!!!! At last, I don't have to worry about household chores already.

Freaking tiring for the last 2 months.

Just imagine after working for the whole day and you still have to clean up the house, wash the clothes when what you want to do is just simply fall asleep.

Can't tahan. 

Too tired already.

But...seriously, i think I'll become an awesome wife. hahahahahaha!

Now that she's back, i can chill abit le.

Later have to work at Conrad.

Oh ohoh, recently, I'm working at Conrad coz there's more events there.

It's not bad but not good either.

I guess it's all about being adaptable and flexible.

And also, I've come to realised that though having dreams are important, it's not essential.

Knowing how to survive in the society is much more important and it''s essential.

Sigh..after working for this few months...I sort of get how the society really works.

Lets just hope that I will survive well.

Love life recently???

Sigh...lets not think too much about it and let nature take its course.

Sorry for this super wordy post. Can't find much photos to post.

Promise that there will be more photos in the next post.

Gotta go off to bed now.

Goodnight love!

If spending 4 years for a 'O' level Cert is worthy, then why spending 4 years for an 'A' level Cert isn't worthy?

Feeling super sucky to the max right now.

Like really. 

Super sucky.

Hi hi! I'm back.

Ok ok ok...I know. This blog is rotting.

hahha.

But I'm back again.

sigh...

I didn't blog not becoz I don't want to.

Just that there's nothing much to blog about.

My life is the same as always I guess.

Busy with work, busy with household chores, busy with searching for a direction in my life, busy trying to strike a balance between the reality and imagination, busy looking for myself.

I always say I want a getaway, I want a break.

But I realised that it's just a part of me wanting to escape from the reality.

So end up, I'm still here coz I know I shouldn't run away.

ok, shall continue with my naggy whining in the later part of the post.

Shall share how I spent my great 19th birthday.

This year's birthday is a little special coz both mummy and daddy is not in Singapore to celebrate with me.

But lucky for me, I've my awesome Bro with me.

hahha. I guess he knows that I'm still a little kid who wants attention when it's my birthday.

So, he brought me out for breakfast at Macdonald!!

His treat!

hahaha. Maybe to some people, this isn't a very good gift.

But for me, this is really very good.

For 19 years, my dear bro didn't bring me and only me out for breakfast.

So, it's quite nice of him to do so.

We even brought a cake back home.

Though he's the only one that sang birthday song when we're cutting the cake, I still feel super loved by him. hahahaha

He's an awesome Bro.

In the afternoon, went over to Vivo city to meet my two lovely daughters and Joel.

We went to Marche for dinner.

First time eating Marche.

The food there are not bad.

And the price is quite reasonable.

There were 4 of us and each of us only paid like 28 bucks.

It's almost the same price as Tara.

And we ordered a lot.

Like really... a lot.

I thinks there are 7 dishes.

Plus 4 drinks.

Crepe with Roasted Chicken 

Cream of Mushroom

Chicken Pasta with Cream sauce

Pizza!!! (I forget what's the name) 

And another 2 more dishes that came later and I was already busy eating so didnt't take any photos.

Overall experience, Great! hahaha

After that, my dear lixing and niki brought me over to Henderson Wave.

Super sweet of them to think of it.

Have been wanting to go there but it's either I lazy or I don't know how to go.

Though we got a little lost in the beginning, we still manage to reach there.

It's really very beautiful there.

Too bad I've a sucky camera and my phone was dying that day.

If not, there will be more nice photos.

So...I shall just steal some photos from niki and lixing. 

hahahaha

 Complete Family photo!!!

Thanks guys for the lovely Mixed berry birthday tart!

Love it to the max. 

<3

Oh oh oh oh!!!

And not to forget, Jason!!!

I'm actually quite surprised that he actually came coz we barely know each other.

But, he's a great guy.

He's like an elder brother to Lixing and Niki.

hahaha

Glad to know that they have caring brother beside them.

Why am I so fortunate to have such an awesome bunch of friends? hahaha

No matter what, I love them lots.

And I know they know I love them.

Coz I really do.

hahahaha

Yea...I guess my birthday celebration is the only happy happening for the past few weeks.

Other than that, my life is filled with work and more cruel reality.

Sigh...

oh, but I went out with my colleagues at Novotel.

We went to the river near Marina Bay Sand and had a drink, chat, play games and simply bond.

It was really nice.

But I must say, going out with them too much isn't that good.

Gotta control.

I think I'm losing my interest in banquet service already.

maybe because it's no longer challenging for me.

So it's getting boring.

Time to change job?

So many things to think about.

So many things to sort out.

And also...what about J?

I can't be serious with him.

Coz I don't see a future for us in him.

At least not now.

Plus, I think he's too pure and innocent for me?

And I'm a damaged for him.

Sigh... don't know lah.

Though there are tonnes of things that I don't know why or what to do, I know for sure that STUDY FOR 'A' LEVEL NEXT YEAR MUST START NOW!

so...meanwhile...

JIAYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have been such a super long time since I last visited this small world of mine.

I guess this is the only place that still remain some essence of who I really am.

Or maybe who I really want to be.

Anyway...

today...is my birthday.

Turning 19 years old. 

haha. old girl already.

Feeling somehow sad and down.

Maybe coz things haven't been going well for me and my parent isn't beside me today.

But...it's okay.

I can understand.

Things doesn't also go the way I want it to.

I believe that if all doors are closed, there will still be one window that's open.

I just haven't found that window.

Lots of things I wanna talk about here.

But I don't know where to start.

I only know that I miss the old Lansin a lot.

I hope to find her back soon.

不是故意

我以为恶梦不会一直缠着我
我以为头痛闭上眼就痊愈了
我只听你爱听的歌
我只做你的朋友
我变得沉默伤心也不愿开口
我变了好多是否更靠近你呢
等一个固执的如果
如果你懂我为什么就够了
你别担心我不怕一个人站在雨里
除了你我找不到能快乐的意义
眼泪带给你的压力太清晰
我真的不是故意
不是故意让自己变得不再像自己
为了你拼命想拿一百分而努力
你却离我越来越远的距离
直到我失去你
真的不是故意

我真的不是故意。不是故意让自己变得不像自己。

4th June 2012

Hi Love!!!

hahaha. I finally have time to really update on my recent happenings.

Gonna be a long long post.

So enjoy!!! :D

Hmmm..where should I start?

Ok, lets start on my work then.

Last week didn't go Novotel for work coz need to go Shang Rila (aka Shang in short)

Miss the people at Novotel a lot.

Worked at Shang on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Apparently, there is this world summit going on there so the security is very tight.

Worked at the summit where people around me are either security guards, military personal or ministers/official.

Stress to the max.

The manager said that not even a small mistake is allowed. 

One very small mistake, and you'll be banned from working at the hotel.

Stress right?

But, oh well...5 star hotel, 5 star service standard.

Keep up to it or just get out.

hahaha.

Still, got to know new people there.

Note: New people. Not new friends.

Working in hotels... just imagine how complicated it can be at times.

Especially when I'm a girl somemore.

I count myself lucky for having better EQ. 

If not, I think I'll die very badly working in hotel service line.

But still!!! 

I get to know some nice people there.

Super friendly and outgoing Justina!

Love her character. Love her smile.

Knowing her made the unbearably tired day more bearable.

:D

Oh well, still...this is a job I'll hold on to.

At least for now.

Going back to Novotel to work this weekend.

YAY!!!!

Bet they miss me too. :P

hehehhehehe..

Moving on...

Finally met up with Nana and Niki after so long.

 NANA!!! Miss her damn lots!!!!

And Niki!

Super long never see her.

Time to meet up again soon~

Met up for lunch at Pizza Hut.

The fries there are really super nice.

Especially with their dipping sauce.

*drooling*

Beside the food, catching up with the girls feels great.

It's like going back to our JC life.

Ah...I miss JC life.

hahaha.

Can't believe I actually said that.

It's a pity that Lixing can't join us.

But I believe that we'll all meet up again one day. :D

Too bad I couldn't stay with them long coz I still gotta work that day.

:(

Anyway, after working for 3 days...

It's finally time to rest!!!

Hahaha.

Today is my first resting day.

What did I do?

SLEEP!!!!

Yes...I was deprived of sleep. 

Woke up at 9am and went for Mac breakfast with Mum and Bro.

Super long since we last ate breakfast at Mac together.

I'm a total pig.

Like seriously.

I ate a whole meal of Breakfast Delux meal!!!!

hahaha.

Oh well...you know...I've heavy workload. 

(That's the only way to make me less guilty for eating so much :P )

Went back home and continue sleeping till 1pm.

Woke up and went to Jcube with Mummy!

SHOPPING SPREE!!!!!

Omg, seriously, the Great Singapore Sale is really so awesome!

hahaha.

Brought 2 pair of heels at Payless.

One for Mummy and one for me.

30% off for the 2nd pair.

Heels with skinny jean.

Perfect match! 

Mine is the 2nd pair.

Usual price is $34.90.

After discount, it's just $24.43!!!!

Can you believe it?

Super worth the money.

And my mum's one is just like $36.90.

Beside that, I even brought a perfume.

Princesse Marina De Bourbon: Dynastie Mademoiselle

The bottle is so beautiful!!!!

Totally in love with it.

Love most of their products.

They even gave a miniature of the Marina Blue!!

Feels awesomely great that I brought my first branded perfume with my own hard earned money. :D

Beside shopping, I also treated Mummy good food again.

This time, at Chili's.

Mummy tried the Baby RIb Classic.

What else can I say...

It was bloody awesome.

Sweet sauce coated on the nicely cooked rib.

Nom nom nom...

And I had Shimp with corn cob.

Love it to the max.

The crumbs coated on the shrimp give the fresh shimps extra favour.

Sprinkled pinch of salt and black pepper plus some butter on the sweet corn..

Ahhhh!!!! 

Extraordinary!!!!

*Drooling again*

It was a bit expensive though.

But still, I think it's worth it.

hahaha.

Especially seeing mummy enjoying it so much.

Yup yup. 

So it's really a fun and awesome off day for me.

But...spend too much le.

No more shopping spree allowed this week!!!! 

Went out with almost zero make up today (except abit of eyeliner).

Coz have been wearing makeup almost everyday becoz of work.

Ah....

It feels super awesome to be able to spend my own money.

Treating Mummy nice food almost once every 2 weeks.

Going for a shopping spree after I've worked super hard.

Doing things that I love and want to.

Loving the people around me.

Experiencing the real working life yet maintaining a carefree lifestyle.

I go to work, enjoy it to the max even though things are shitty at times, earn money, spend it without worries and guilt.

If my appeal doesn't get through, I'll have around one year of break.

Study again!!!

But at the same time, enjoy my life to the max.

Come on, I'm just 18 years old, turning 19.

It's the best part of my entire life.

I'm not gonna let it go down to waste becoz of useless stuff.

Beside studying, I'll work, save up and travel!!!!

The most fulfilling thing is me having the ability to buy present for my mum and treating her nice food.

Even just topping up my mum's ezlink card with my own money makes me feel happy.

:D

Feel that I should use my own money to help Daddy and Mummy spend on things they couldn't bear to spend on for the past years becoz of us.

For example, Daddy and Mummy couldn't bear to spend money to go nicer restaurant for a meal coz they think it's too expensive. Now that I've the ability, I'll bring them to these restaurants.

It's a pity that Daddy is not in Singapore.

But when he comes back or when I visit him, I'll definitely treat him!

Most importantly, of coz, is making an effort to spend time with them.

Of coz, not forgetting my Bro who is also having a hard time at work.

Gonna think of sometime to cheer him up.

Love them to the max!

Always being so supportive.

Really love them lots! 

<3