Just how long more?

Super tired...
It's been super long since I last feel so overwhelmed with sadness.
I guess the last time I feel so upset is when I broke up with David.
But now...sigh...

Almost a month...
Both of us are in Singapore..
But we didn't meet for almost a month...
Can't be really that busy right?
I'm tired of constantly asking him if he's free to meet up.
I'm tired of constantly knowing the our meet up have to be cancelled.
I'm tired of knowing that I'm just someone he come to when there's no one else.
I'm tired of missing him so badly.

He said before that heartbreak will turn someone into a monster.
He knows how I feel like.
But he's still doing this to me.
Why?

How long should I stay ignorance and understanding?
How long more can I withstand being hurt and broken?

All these pain...
是我自找的